SERVE THE COMPUTER. THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND!
The Computer wants you to be happy. If you are not happy, you may be used as reactor shielding.
The Computer is crazy. The Computer is happy. The Computer will help you become happy. This will drive you crazy.
Being a citizen of Alpha Complex is fun. The Computer says so, and The Computer is your friend.
Rooting out traitors will make you happy. The Computer tells you so. Can you doubt the Computer?
Being a Troubleshooter is fun. The Computer tells you so. Of course The Computer is right.
Troubleshooters get shot at, stabbed, incinerated, stapled, mangled, poisoned, blown to bits, adn occasionaly accidentally executed. This is so much fun that many Troubleshooters go crazy. You will be working with many Troubleshooters. All of them carry lasers.
Aren’t you glad you have a laser? Won’t this be fun?
There are many traitors in Alpha Complex. There are many happy citizens in Alpha Complex. Most of the happy citizens are crazy. It is hard to say which is more dangerous — traitors or happy citizens. Watch out for both of them.
The life of a Troubleshooter is full of surpises.
Trust no one!
Keep your laser handy!